All day long on the street from

work and you know

you just heard hundreds of

students in the recent
brawl on its current

leadership program on campus.

That was.

Thank you care.

Thank you so this I believe

that friendship is one of the most
important ingredients in human life.

Let's come at friendship from
the opposite direction from the Noah life

a life which is empty.

That was a very cautious man who never
laughed or played he never risk.

He never tried.

He never sang or
prayed he never loved or loved and lost.

He never made a free and his curiosity
was Neil for what lay around the bay and

he was the very essence of
dust blowing in the wind and

when one day he passed away
insurance was denied four cents.

He never really lived.

They claimed he never died.

The empty life and a life filled with
friendship is the opposite of that and

just like that once was a very cautious
May and that once was a very shy.

Thirteen year old introvert who made great
grades top kid Miss eight grade class.

But no friends zero zilch none nada.

And as his practice was he was lying on
the bed doing Christmas holidays reading.

And his dad walks in the room and

all the states it is son I think you
need to read this and tosses the kid

his weather beaten copy of Dale Carnegie's
had went for incident which people.

Now up to this point
the introvert had believed.

Hey I have no control over whether or
not people like me.

Whether or
not people want to be my friend.

It's up to them they have to
decide they have to come to me

I have no control over it.

Guess what the kid was wrong.

Got in his book proves that there are and
at the time six

principles that govern human relationships
and if you do these six principles.

People will like you.

You almost have no control you do
the principals they will like you and

this was any peer funny.

This was a revolution for the introvert.

So the introvert set out that January
to be a virtual missionary for

the cause of their Carnegie six principles

of getting people to
like you the clock ticks.

It's four and a half years later.

What used to be the shallow
introvert is now the extrovert.

And he has just been elected
student body president

of the largest high school in the state
of Georgia quite a transition.

He goes on to Georgia Tech continues so
six principles and

after a few years it has
more really good friends and

you can count on all fingers and
toes truly amazing.

The now extrovert goes to work for
Georgia Tech.

But in the late sixty's and
in the early seventy's.

Another book comes out written by
the psychologist manual Smith and

in they are guess what sports fans.

He discovers a seventh principle that
causes people to like each other.

It's a principle of self disclosure where
you share yourself with them they share

yours themselves with you.

And that's outlined in his book
when I saw and I feel guilty.

So when the now extrovert added
that went to the list and

discovered there are seven
principles of bonding.

It's like he was now.

Armed with nuclear weapons
he could go out and

form bonds with people to
a degree that is amazing.

And as you probably did do so.

A little shy introvert was meek.

And that's kind of the story of my
involvement with friendship and

here in college.

It appears to me that the essence of
friendship three three elements I want to

now wait we could stop right here.

And I could give you a two
hour lecture which I'm not

on the seven principles of
bonding they are incredible.

Instead I would turn you loose to go by
the two books yes and read them yourself.

But in subsequent years when I've
observed life at Georgia Tech.

It appears to me that three
elements of forming friendships and

maintaining friendships and

nurturing friendships and keeping
friendships that are really obvious here.

And there embodied in the Greek system.

Now there are some profound nations in
the great system that don't follow what

the Greek system supposed to do but

the Greek system is supposed
to nurture friendship.

And the one.

Do a good job of it.

There are three elements.

And they really cause
friendship to happen.

First number one they go out and they hunt
for people who are on their wavelength.

They hunt for people with their values
their philosophies and their character and

personality and that's what we have
to do when we want to form friends.

That's what we look for.

Number two.

Then they persuade the folks.

If they're smart by using the seven
principles of bonding they persuade

the folks to become part of their
group and that's what we do.

When we found folks we really like
when we really want to have for

friends we use these principles to
bond with them and you know I have

known Tech students who were not screwed
in the seven principles of bonding.

But who mostly said so at least two
of the principals from their parents

they know how to be a good listener and
they have a dynamite smile and

those two are good enough to cause
a lot of friendships to be form.

So but number two in the Greek system they
use the principles people bond with them

and become part of the group but
there's a third element.

If you compare friendship to a tree a tree
needs water without water the tree da.

And sports fans the award or.

That makes the tree of friendship
grow is contact you have to be in

contact with people in order to nurture
this relationship in order to use

the principles in order to get on
each other's way that you have

to have contact if person A is on one
side of the planet Person B.'s on

the other chances are you're not
to be able to form friendships.

But in a fraternity or
sorority you get your meals together.

You go to meetings together.

You go to parties together you do
philanthropic endeavors together you

invite people home to your mom and
dad's place for Thanksgiving.

You're together for
two three four years and

that contact allows these
bonds to really grow and

be strong and that's what all of us
have to do when we want to form friends.

We have to spend.

With these people we care about to
make those bonds really really grow.

So I could but

some of the most philosophical ideas
about human life for found in Calcutta.

If you haven't discovered Calvin and
Hobbes you've got to do it.

Let me read you just one quick passage
here that just blew me out of the war.

Calvin the little boy and
the Tiger are walking in the woods.

And when they walk in the woods they
get very philosophically reflective

Bill Watterson the guy that created
this was a philosophy major and so

he has a lot of reserve or draw

that walk into the woods Calvin says
true friends are hard to come by.

He talks about animals but
everywhere he says the word animal.

I'm going to substitute
the word true friends.

True friends don't try to
change you are make you fit in.

They just enjoy the pleasure
of your company.

True friends aren't
conditional about friendship.

True friends like you just
the way you are they listen

to your problems they comfort you when
you say it and all they ask in return is

a little kindness and
then of course Hobbes loses it.

Because Calvin was talking about
a lot of really good philosophical

stuff in Calvin and
Hobbes if you haven't discovered him yet.

I suggest you do so.

So making friends is one of
the most rewarding endeavors.

You can engage in in college.

And take it from me sports
fans choose this endeavor.

You will find worth for
your life that will endure long after

the last third more dynamic
equation has quietly slipped away.

I suggest you go for it.